Why appearance matters to us

We have built a culture that places such immerse value in appearance that we would rather spend a lot to appear full than spend a little bit to buy food. There is no argument that we spend so much more on time, we spend so much effort and use so much more money to appear as though we are doing fine when indeed we are suffering.

We always tell each other that appearance doesn’t matter, however we are always bashing each other. We always want to keep up with the Joneses. If one day we woke up looking like superstars we would be very happy. We are quick to point out one little flaw about our appearance that is why we spend so much on cosmetics. It is the norm and tradition we have developed that it keeps trickling from Generation to Generation.

It is no wonder we suffer so much anxiety because we feel we aren’t good enough because we somehow lack something in our appearance. It is uncalled for to hear a person mention that they wear clothes from the second shop, or they drive a 10-year old car. I would rather spend a fortune that I don’t have to appear as though I have everything under control. This is because as a society we have placed so much value on appearance.

The famous saying that “do not judge a book by it’s cover” is somewhat fake because we actually judge books by their cover. That is why sales reps are always in fresh cut suits, receptionists since they are the face of the company, must wear and appear “clean”. No matter how many times we try to deny it, appearance does matter to humans. This is simply because:

  • It is socially acceptable hence the famous saying an attractive person is a sight to sore eyes
  • Looking good makes us feel good about ourselves i.e. an ego boost
  • Physically attractive people get to make more relationships with people because they are impressive

We do not realize however that in putting so much value on appearance, we miss out on the one thing we must learn as humans, contentment and gratitude. We suffer the inferior complex of placing appearance as a measure of success. As parents, especially in Botswana, we tend to feel like we love our children if they go to a private school and not a public school. Over-indulging our children, because we want to appear as though we are loving our children and we are there for them.

We suffer emotionally and go to bed hungry because we rather forfeit our bread for our latest shoe because someone will see and think we are rich. We have put so much pressure on ourselves because of the culture we have built of appearing as though we are okay, when in actual fact, we are suffering and trying to understand life as it is. We do not learn the basic language of money, instead we want to cheat by using get-rich-quick schemes, by promising each other temporary riches than actually building wealth.

Let me know in your comment below why we place so much value on appearance as people

why do I stress about appearance so much