The Joys of Motherhood

“[Motherhood is] the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary—it’s an act of infinite optimism.” —Gilda Radner

Motherhood has been the most rewarding thing in my life. I became a mother in 2013 to a very beautiful bouncy baby girl. My young one was quite a handful, not that it was a bad thing. It felt like raising myself. I saw myself in this lil lady. Cheerful and loud like mommy dearest. She loved dancing and singing, an entire sanguine, an extrovert who wasn’t afraid of getting what she wanted. YES! a go-getter.

Four years after having her, I had my son. A quiet, mellow child, who didn’t cry. He spoke when spoken to, and avoided people at all costs. He on the other hand was an introvert. At the play ground he would be playing close to mommy, or he would watch other kids play. To him, that is how he has was a part of the game. I felt raising him was so much easier because I felt he was an easy child. Easy to feed, easy to baby sit, all-round easy to mother.

I however did not realize that I was neglecting my daughter. I thought I could blanket parent and use the same parenting strategy on both my kids. I felt that would be the easiest way to mother, to also find myself as a woman and to be the best girlfriend to my boyfriend. I didn’t realize my neglect on her because she was still happy and bubbly. Its until I went to her school and realized that her school work is suffering. She isn’t performing as good as I thought she was. She was flunking classes, irritable, a bully! OMG!!!

This is trend I have noticed among mothers who have 2 or more children. We usually neglect our children and focus on the one that is easy to raise. Our yes children, then we pick a favorite. The one that is neglected, like a little flower is left to wither away. They do not excel as they should, they don’t develop good social cues, and we raise mini devils. We do not realize that by forgetting to give attention to the other child, we forget to train this child in the way that they should go and we leave the world to raise these kids for us. Charity begins at home isn’t just a saying but a reality that we live in. Before we can try change the world, we should raise our children fully by being there for them. By being whom we actually needed when we were growing up.

iMother

Chapter 28

Crisis within a crisis

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

Chapter 28 has began and I have so many questions I want to ask the inner me. I would like to believe that I am suffering from an identity crisis which is very hard to explain to people. Many a times they make it seem like just because now I am older, I know who I am. However why do I feel this way? Why do I feel as if the world is coming to an end and that I don’t understand myself?

Who am I? Do I really know who I am? Do I really understand the woman I have grown to be or am I in a faze trying to grab a hold of who Bambi is? Robin Sharma in The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari mentions meditation. But how do I meditate in a hurrying world? a world that never sleeps. Is it because I have all these expectations of who I want to be that I lose myself in the mix?

I am guessing this is the beginning of understanding this quarter life crisis I may be going through when I have to discover my life’s purpose by being still. Block out the noise and listen to the inner Bambi.

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate – Oprah Winfrey ❤